The Rose Bush
"You remember I told you about the chair I found on the internet the other day?" Lana spoke into her little cell phone with the pink case. She had called Neil at work to share her good news, and to warn him of the job he would have when he got home this evening. Lana had been looking for weeks for a specific type of overstuffed chair and ottoman for her sitting room, and she had finally found what she thought would be just the right fit for her and the room. Excitement was in her voice.
"I bought it! I got the guy down to a better price, and I pick it up this afternoon. I went to look at it this morning and, Neil, it's perfect. It's a very pretty blue with tiny flowers on it, and it is SO comfortable. I told the guy I wanted to think about it, but I just needed time to decided how much to offer him. So, I called him and made an offer, and he accepted it!"
This running narrative of Lana's morning adventures didn't exactly have Neil on the edge of his seat. In fact, he was very busy and could hardly wait to hang up.
"Well, I'll see it when I get home, won't I? Whatever you do, don't lift that thing by yourself. Just wait for me and I'll take care of it."
"Thank you, Sweetie. You're so good to me." She hung up and began to clear the area to give him room to safely carry in the chair. Thankfully it wasn't too heavy, and she was confident there would be no problems getting it in the house. She would just back the van up to the front door and it would be perfect.
At precisely 5:15 that afternoon Neil came through the laundry room from the garage and found Lana stirring some kind of soup on the stove.
"Let's get to it," he urged, and headed for the front of the house.
"Well, I thought you'd want to eat first," said Lana. But he was already out of the room and earshot. Lana wiped her hands on a kitchen towel and headed for the garage to bring the van around.
Neil watched his wife back the van out into the street, then swing around to back up to the front door. Meanwhile, he saw his next door neighbor, Larry and his wife Nita, sauntering across the perfectly manicured lawns toward his house. Neil scoffed under his breath.
"Great. Mr. and Mrs. 'Nosy Parker' just can't stand for something to happen in the neighborhood without them knowing what it is and all the particulars. Well, then he can help me bring the stupid chair in, since he's coming over. Serve him right."
He waved to the couple, then refocussed on the van. What was she doing? She's not paying attention.
Neil changed his waving to both arms, trying to get Lana's attention.
"Hey!" he called to her. "You need to get over to the right!"
The van kept backing up.
"Lana! Hey! You're too far left! You're on the grass, and you're going to run over the flowers!"
The van stopped, Lana rolled down the driver's side window and stuck out her head.
"No I'm not. Don't worry. I'm not going to hit anything."
"Well, you're going to hit that rose bush you love so much if you keep going. You need to get over."
The woman never listens, he thought.
Lana continued backward, heading directly for the rose bush. Even Larry and Nita could see how this was going to end if she didn't stop.
"Move to your right!" Three voices screamed at her, then, "Stop! Move over!"
Lana slowed the van to a crawl and actually moved right, but not enough.
"Leave me alone!" she yelled. "I'm just fine, and I can see where I'm going. I am NOT going to hit that rose!"
Three sets of ears heard it. If Lana heard it, she didn't act like she did. She just kept inching backward, and the three sets of ears heard a small screeching on the van paint, then, "SNAP." The van never hesitated, but kept on inching back until it reached the front door entrance. Neil, Larry and Nita looked at one another quizzically. Surely she had heard that, hadn't she?
Lana bounced out of the van and looked at Neil.
"Let's go!" she said with a big smile on her face. "I can't wait to sit in my new chair this evening to read my new book." And, with her hands on her hips, and a grin from ear to ear, she waited for him to grab the chair.
With a slight shake of his head, and a smirk on his face, Neil lifted the back door of the van.
"Come on, Larry, give me a hand here. The little lady wants to read her new book. And I, my friend, think I need to check my blood pressure."
"I bought it! I got the guy down to a better price, and I pick it up this afternoon. I went to look at it this morning and, Neil, it's perfect. It's a very pretty blue with tiny flowers on it, and it is SO comfortable. I told the guy I wanted to think about it, but I just needed time to decided how much to offer him. So, I called him and made an offer, and he accepted it!"
This running narrative of Lana's morning adventures didn't exactly have Neil on the edge of his seat. In fact, he was very busy and could hardly wait to hang up.
"Well, I'll see it when I get home, won't I? Whatever you do, don't lift that thing by yourself. Just wait for me and I'll take care of it."
"Thank you, Sweetie. You're so good to me." She hung up and began to clear the area to give him room to safely carry in the chair. Thankfully it wasn't too heavy, and she was confident there would be no problems getting it in the house. She would just back the van up to the front door and it would be perfect.
At precisely 5:15 that afternoon Neil came through the laundry room from the garage and found Lana stirring some kind of soup on the stove.
"Let's get to it," he urged, and headed for the front of the house.
"Well, I thought you'd want to eat first," said Lana. But he was already out of the room and earshot. Lana wiped her hands on a kitchen towel and headed for the garage to bring the van around.
Neil watched his wife back the van out into the street, then swing around to back up to the front door. Meanwhile, he saw his next door neighbor, Larry and his wife Nita, sauntering across the perfectly manicured lawns toward his house. Neil scoffed under his breath.
"Great. Mr. and Mrs. 'Nosy Parker' just can't stand for something to happen in the neighborhood without them knowing what it is and all the particulars. Well, then he can help me bring the stupid chair in, since he's coming over. Serve him right."
He waved to the couple, then refocussed on the van. What was she doing? She's not paying attention.
Neil changed his waving to both arms, trying to get Lana's attention.
"Hey!" he called to her. "You need to get over to the right!"
The van kept backing up.
"Lana! Hey! You're too far left! You're on the grass, and you're going to run over the flowers!"
The van stopped, Lana rolled down the driver's side window and stuck out her head.
"No I'm not. Don't worry. I'm not going to hit anything."
"Well, you're going to hit that rose bush you love so much if you keep going. You need to get over."
The woman never listens, he thought.
Lana continued backward, heading directly for the rose bush. Even Larry and Nita could see how this was going to end if she didn't stop.
"Move to your right!" Three voices screamed at her, then, "Stop! Move over!"
Lana slowed the van to a crawl and actually moved right, but not enough.
"Leave me alone!" she yelled. "I'm just fine, and I can see where I'm going. I am NOT going to hit that rose!"
Three sets of ears heard it. If Lana heard it, she didn't act like she did. She just kept inching backward, and the three sets of ears heard a small screeching on the van paint, then, "SNAP." The van never hesitated, but kept on inching back until it reached the front door entrance. Neil, Larry and Nita looked at one another quizzically. Surely she had heard that, hadn't she?
Lana bounced out of the van and looked at Neil.
"Let's go!" she said with a big smile on her face. "I can't wait to sit in my new chair this evening to read my new book." And, with her hands on her hips, and a grin from ear to ear, she waited for him to grab the chair.
With a slight shake of his head, and a smirk on his face, Neil lifted the back door of the van.
"Come on, Larry, give me a hand here. The little lady wants to read her new book. And I, my friend, think I need to check my blood pressure."
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