The Lizard Invasion

Neil descended the basement stairs slowly, frantically thinking of quips that would cleverly break the news to Lana. He didn't want her to have another meltdown. He peeked in to find her leaning over the desk deep in thought. Normally she didn't mind interruptions, but this looked important. Stay calm, he reminded himself.

"I think it's time that you get your clothes picked up off the closet floor and back on the hangers." He leaned against the door jam as casually as he could as he said this.

"Yeah, I know. But they've been there this long, another day won't hurt." She didn't look up.

Okay, he thought,  now what? He took a breath.

"Well, I think you should probably do it today. Like maybe now."

"I'm busy. It'll wait." She sounded a little annoyed, and he was getting nervous. 

"Then you'd better be very careful the next time you go in there."

She stared at him in exasperation. 

He thought, Oh just say it.

"Just saying, don't get excited, but I just saw a lizard go in there."

"What?" 

"Well, it's really a gecko, but I know you won't be very happy if you run into it."

"And you just let it go in there?" she fumed.

Lana leaped up from her craft table, knocking scissors and papers to the floor. She stared at her husband incredulously. He bent down to pick up the mess she had made and lovingly thought this must be his lot in life, cleaning up after her.

'I can't believe it! You drag me away from my life-long home where the only thing that gets in a house is a mouse, to this god-forsaken land where who-knows-what is constantly invading our home! And now you just let a lizard roam around in our house, and you do nothing?"

"Georgia is not god-forsaken. Calm yourself. I just thought I'd warn you, and now I'll take care of it. But, if it runs out I need you to catch it so we can get it out of the house."

"That'll be the day, bozo."

Lana sat back down to pick up where she had left off. She had no time to mess with those clothes. Their granddaughter's birthday was only two weeks away, and she had a lot more to do to finish her card. Lana made all her greeting cards by hand, and they were works of art. Lizards. In the house, no less.

Neil worked for a company that had brought him to Georgia from the place they had always called home. They had grown up in Nebraska, and it was hard to leave after living nowhere else for fifty years. But here they were. She would follow wherever he went, but she didn't have to like it.  It actually had turned out that she was very content here. She had good friends and a good church. But she was alone most of the time. Her sons were back in Nebraska, and her daughter lived in Texas. So, crafting had become a great pass time.

Just then her phone rang its shrill tune, There Is No Place Like Nebraska. She had set the tune on her phone months ago, and she hated to admit it, but it was getting annoying. Time to change it. She glanced at the phone to see that it was her friend Carol.

"Hi Carol! What's up?"

Lana had answered brightly, but it didn't matter. Carol stayed repressed, almost dark in her tone.

"What are you doing?" Carol inquired.

"Just making a birthday card. What are you doing?"

"Well, I want to go to Athens to pick up some tiles that we want to put down in the entryway, and there's that antique shop that you like on the way there. You want to get out?"

"Sure."

Lana would have rather stayed home to finish the card, but she seldom went anywhere, and when Carol called she tried to always be available. Carol had lots of drama in her family, so getting her mind on other things was the goal. All the things that had happened in the last twenty-four hours since they'd last talked were all that Carol would talk about, but Lana was used to it, and listened, even commiserated, then changed the subject as often as she could. 

"I'll be ready in just a few, but there's something I need to help Neil with before I go."

"I thought y'all didn't work well together." Carol actually chuckled at that. It was a constant complaint with Lana that Neil was difficult to work with. Lana liked to talk and have fun when she worked. Neil had no interest in talking at any time, and to have fun was just something she felt he had no idea how to do.

"He's cleaning up the closet, but I'm the one who left it in a mess. I really need to help him before I leave to make sure he gets it all done. Pick me up in about EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

NEIL! NEIL! HEEEEELLLLLP! NEIL!

Silence.

"Lana? Hello, Lana?" Carol shrugged and went to get ready for their day.

"Northerners." she drawled to herself. "Y'all never know about them."